Disconnecting from kindness

2021 11 Violence1

Violence. In November, we get 16 days to raise our voices and fight against it. We condemn abuse against women and children. No-one should use whatever power they have to hurt others. Right? Oh no, hang on. Let’s not overreact. Boys will be boys, remember…



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To my friend, who also stayed behind.

My dear friend

When you stood in my kitchen on Saturday, trying to hold on to the broken pieces of your mother heart, I wished for you a faraway island. Somewhere to dissolve into a puddle and cry until you fall asleep. But there you were, spent from a lifetime of moulding, coaching, cheering on, feeding, protecting, healing, the child who has been yours to raise. You launched her well. Yet you stayed behind, as launchers do. 

I know that your heart is in a million little pieces.

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This fishbowl has proper mothers

We’re smack bang in the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children initiative.  Already, I’m not coping. The stories in the media reduced my morning walk to a tearful crouch on a dirt road. A two-year old died from her injuries caused by rape – her mom’s boyfriend. What was that little girl’s two years on earth like, minute by miserable minute? The SAfm reporter, Cathy Mohlahlana, confessed her struggle to simply read out the gruesome details of recent ritual killings in KZN. And on and on it goes. Sorry, you thought this was about good mothers... I'm getting there.

Read more: This fishbowl has proper mothers

Digging for gold: How boys can make you strong

When I had small children, I used to wish upon all parents at least one impossible, hugely complicated offspring. Just so no-one would walk around with that “this-perfection-is-all-my-own-doing” smugness on their faces. I prefer the “I-have-no-clue-what-to-do-anymore” look, which I’m intimately familiar with. As my toddlers turned into teens, my evil wishes shifted onto a specific population of parents: those with daughters.

Read more: Digging for gold: How boys can make you strong

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